It was 0900 hours when Janeway walked out onto Voyagers Bridge that morning. Paris was already at his con station; he’d been there since the start of his duty shift at 0700.

“Good morning captain.” Harry Kim greeted cheerfully from opps.

“Good morning Harry,” Janeway returned the greeting, taking note that Paris back stiffened slightly at the sound of her voice but his head didn’t turn. “Anything to report Mr Chakotay?”

“No Ma’am,” replied the sleepy commander, rising to his feet. He had been on duty all night. “Except that my relief is late.”

Janeway was late, she was supposed to have relieved Chakotay at 8 o’clock but had spent too long bathing, dressing and daydreaming. Something she rarely did and never admitted to. “I’m sorry, I over slept. You may report 1 hour late this evening to make up for my tardiness.”

“I may take you up on that,” Chakotay managed a smile as he passed the night’s duty log over to Janeway, before taking his leave of the bridge.

A quick inspection of the log and an even quicker survey of the silently occupied bridge crew gave Janeway the excuse she needed to do a tactical disappearing act of her own. “Well seeing as everything is so quiet I’ll be in my ready room if needed.”

Paris watched Janeway from the corner of his eye, he had half expected her to come over and say something to him but he hadn’t expected her to slink of into her ready room avoiding him completely.

---

Five hours later Janeway was still ensconced in her ready room and Paris had a report that required her attention. Relinquishing his seat at the con to lieutenant Summers, Paris moved anticlockwise around the bridge, keeping one eye on the captain’s door least she should suddenly emerge. When he reached Harry Kim’s station, Paris moved in closer to his friend so he could talk privately.

“The captains been in there all morning.”

“So, she’s probably catching up on her reading,” responded Kim.

“She seemed a bit moody to me this morning. What do you think? Do you think she was moody?” Paris asked.

“The captain seemed cheerful enough when I said hello to her.” Kim looked at Paris apprehensive face, “Is there something your not telling me Tom?”

“No, no, nothing. I have this report for the Captain and I didn’t want to bother her if she was you know, busy or ……or…..”

“Or in a bad mood.” Prompted Kim.

“Yes.”

“If you hand that report in late she will be in a bad mood.”

“Your right I had better just bite the bullet and take this to her,” Paris patted his bewildered friend on the shoulder then scuttled past Tuvox’s watchful eye up to the Captains door.

Janeway was slouched behind her desk with her feet up and balanced on the corner when the door chimed. Startled she dropped her feet to the floor, causing the desk to rattle and the cold forgotten coffee to slop over. “Dam!” Janeway muttered, mopping the mess up with a serviette.

The door chimed again, outside Paris drummed his fingers on the lintel impatiently and smiled at Tuvox.

“Open!” Janeway called at the second chime and looked up in time to see Paris enter sheepishly. Quickly hiding the mess on her table Janeway turned her attention to the man she had spent the night making love with. “Tom what can I do for you?” Janeway managed to ask, before a slight pink sprang to her cheeks and she remembered what she had already done for him.

“I just wanted to hand in my report,” said Paris, approaching Janeway with his arm out stretched so he wouldn’t have to get too close. But even at a distance he noticed the rosey hue to her cheeks and how beautiful they made her look in the harsh lights of the ready room.

“Thank you,” said Janeway moving around her desk and accepting the compad from Paris extended arm. His job done Paris turned to leave but Janeway called him back. “You left before I woke this morning.”

“I thought it would be best,” Paris replied, moving away from the door in case he strayed too close and it opened.

Janeway nodded. “We have to talk.”

“About what?” Paris asked taking two steps back across the room.

“About last night of course,” answered Janeway, turning briefly to place the compad on her soggy desk. She could hear Paris footsteps coming closer and when she looked around again he was standing within arms reach. “We have made love three times now, the first time we were not in control of our actions, the second time was out of survival, the third…….” Janeway desperately wanted to fall into Paris arms and tell him how much she desired him but the captain inside her held back. “The third time was carnal, a need to be loved and to make love.” Janeway looked down at the floor, then taking a deep breath looked back into Paris eyes, “But it can’t ever happen again.”

The despondent expression that crossed Paris face made Janeway wish she could delete her last words but that wasn’t an option, instead she reached up and tenderly stroked Paris cheek. “We can’t carry this on or we’ll just end up hurting those we truly love.”

The touch of Janeway's fingers on his skin was electrical, sparking a fire deep inside Paris. A fire he wanted to let burn out of control. Taking hold of her hand Paris brought it down to his lips and kissed the back softly. “If ever you need me?”

“I know where to find you.” Kathryn found herself drawing nearer to Tom, moving into his arms, her hands pressed against his firm chest muscles, as his head descended upon hers.

“Captain to the bridge!”

Paris barely heard Harry Kim’s hail but Janeway jumped at the sound and pulled away from him, instantly alert.

“On my way,” Janeway called, detangling herself from Paris and heading for the door. Paris took a moment to gather himself then hurried after his captain.

---

“What is it Harry?” Janeway asked as she strolled out onto Voyagers bridge.

“We’re picking up a distress signal,” ensign Kim informed his captain.

“Origin?”

“About 20 kilometres to our starboard,” answered Paris who had returned to his seat at Voyagers helm.

“All stop Tom,” ordered Janeway, “Harry lets see it.”

Harry Kim adjusted the main view screen to show the area of space from where the signal had originated but there was nothing there.

“Is your data correct Tom?” Janeway asked puzzled.

“Yes ma’am.”

“It could be a lost transmission,” suggested Tuvox.

“Or a cloaked ship,” added Chakotay, stepping out of the turbo lift. “Have you tried hailing them Harry?”

“Yes sir, on all frequencies. No response.”

“Open me a channel,” Janeway ordered, taking up her favourite position in the centre of the bridge. “This is Captain Janeway of the Federation star ship Voyager, we are responding to your distress signal. How may we help you?”

No reply came back over the airwaves but out in space the stars rippled. Janeway and her crew watched, mesmerised as a ship, ten times the size of Voyager emerged beneath her nose.

“Move us back Tom,” Janeway frantically ordered, taking in the size of the ship before them.

“Its colossal!” Commented Chakotay joining Janeway in front of the view screen. “I’m not reading any life signs,” reported Kim. “But I am picking up organic matter, possibly from deceased crew.”

“Her engines are dead as well,” added Paris, “She’s adrift.”

“What else?” Janeway asked.

“Her weapons and shields are inoperable, she has minimal power and her life pods have been jettisoned,” answered Tuvox, covering all basics.

“Are those blast scars?” asked Chakotay, indicating the markings and holes coming into focus along the alien ships side.

“Yes,” confirmed Tuvox.

“I’m not sure I want to meet what ever could do that to a ship this size,” Janeway commented, pacing closer to the view screen.

“If they have the same undetectable cloak,” continued Chakotay, “They could be out there now watching us and we wouldn’t even know it.”

“That I fear is the least of our worries,” said Tuvox casually, “I’m reading an energy build up in what I believe is the ship’s reaction chamber. Collapse is imminent.”

“Get us out of here Tom!” Janeway ordered griping Paris shoulder and taking up a position at his side.

Paris hands flew over the controls as he replied to the order with an, “Aye Captain.”

“Red Alert!” Chakotay yelled, taking his command seat as the main lights dimmed and the red battle lights blinked on.

Seconds later Tuvox bellowed, “ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT!” And the alien ship exploded. Shrinking inwards first before expanding silently out across space.

Realising she was vulnerable Janeway left Paris and headed back for her own command seat but she didn’t make it. The shock wave from the explosion hit Voyager moments before she could escape into warp, sending Janeway and anything else that wasn’t held down flying. Chakotay watched as Janeway was slammed backwards by the force into the console beside Paris.

“Captain?” Paris asked, unable to take his hands from the helm controls to reach out and check if she was ok.

Winded and bruised but uninjured Janeway climbed to her feet, “I’m ok,” she replied to her concerned lieutenant before giving Chakotay a ‘don’t worry’ nod. Voyager was still riding the shock wave and Janeway had to cling onto the helm console to remain on her feet. Beside her Paris was attempting to bring the ship under some kind of control.

“Warp engines are off line Captain,” Paris reported. “Inertial dampeners are at full strength.”

“Impulse?”

“Not responding either.”

Behind her Janeway could hear Chakotay asking Belanna to get the engines back on line, and Belanna’s voice swearing she was doing the best she could. Shifting her eyes from Paris to the view screen Janeway gasped at what she saw. A portion of the alien ship approximately half the size of Voyager was riding the slipstream and heading straight for them. “TOM!”

“Oh My God!” Paris exclaimed, looking up and seeing what Janeway saw.

“Collision in 4 seconds, all hands brace for impact,” Tuvox called again, with as much calculated calm as the first time.

Janeway could hear another voice but she was too hypnotised by the fireball engulfing their view screen to acknowledge it. Paris was using Voyagers remaining thrusters to move them aside but she could see it wasn’t going to be enough.

“CAPTAIN!” Chakotay yelled for the third time. “Captain, sit down!”

The words got through to Janeway but before she could react to them a pair of arms grabbed her and pulled her to one side, it was Paris. He sat Janeway on his lap, put one arm around her waist then one against his desk, bracing them both just as the burning chunk of fuselage hit Voyagers starboard shields and exploded into a thousand tiny particles.

The force of the blow was enough to send Voyager spinning off erratically through space and any crewmember who wasn’t hanging onto something flying through the air like a rag doll. Paris held tight to Janeway as they were thrown against the consoles. He knew if he let go of his captain she would be flung across the bridge with everything else that wasn’t fastened down.

The strain on Voyagers systems began to cause overloads. These in turn created fires, leaks and explosions all over the ship, sending her already disorientated crew into a panic of activity. When the console next to Paris suddenly exploded it sent hot sparks and burning debris in every direction but with his lightning reactions he was able to shield Janeway from the worst of it.

Janeway terrified, not for her self as much for her ship and crew, turned towards the safety of Paris arms and moulded her body to his. Conscious of their closeness Paris tried to remain calm but his heart pounded out of control, belaying his emotions.

After some time the shock wave passed and Voyager stopped shuddering, but glancing up at the view screen Janeway could see they were still in a flat spin. “Bring us to a stop Tom.”

“Already onto it.” With one arm still anchored around Janeway’s waist, Paris deftly manoeuvred the thrusters that remained working, to stop their spin and bring Voyager to rest. “All stop Captain.”

“Damage report?” Janeway ordered, while still sitting on Paris knees but her crew didn’t respond, in fact they were strangely silent.

Turning around Janeway saw Lieutenant Summers prone in the middle of the bridge, blood seeping from a two-inch gash across her temple. She appeared to be breathing but Janeway’s attention didn’t linger to check, instead her eyes were drawn to the devastation trail that lead to her command chair and the slab of broken bulkhead that had smashed down upon it. The chair was utterly destroyed and yet Chakotay, sitting 2 feet away was unscathed. Janeway felt the colour drain from her face as realised what could have happened if she had returned to her seat.

Paris felt Janeway shiver with fright and strengthened his grip on her waist before whispering, “Its ok Kathryn I’ve got you.”

---

Except for the bridge most of the damage to Voyager was superficial and there had been no serious injuries among the crew. Thus with her engines back on line and repairs underway Janeway had ordered the coarse for home to be resumed. An extensive search for the alien ships life pods came up empty. Tuvox speculated that they had either been picked up long ago or destroyed by what ever had disabled the mother ship. Janeway crossed her fingers it was the first speculation but either way she was worried about the possibility of another cloaked ship, capable of destroying the one they had found, out in space somewhere. Chakotay noted her concern and ordered continuous scans and sensor sweeps at maximum range, just in case.

By that evening Belanna had replicated and fitted a new command chair on the bridge but after a quick inspection, Janeway announced she would carry on coordinating repairs from the comfort of her ready room. The result of this was a book on how long before the captain actually sat in her new chair. Much to Harry Kim’s surprise Tom Paris refused to place a wager, saying, “He didn’t think it was right to gamble on the captains emotional state of mind.”

Later that evening Paris found himself passing holodeck six and noticed his programme ‘Paris 3, Sandrine’s’ was running. He had planned a game of pool for the next day with Tuvox and thinking the Vulcan was probably getting in some ‘practice’ he decided to investigate.

Upon entering the holodeck Paris realised something was amiss, Sandrine’s was quiet, no music, voices or clinking of glasses could be heard from inside the tavern. Paris opened the doors slowly, curious as too who was inside he slipped through undetected and blended into the shadows. Once inside he saw that the room was empty except for one lonesome figure playing pool and it was Captain Janeway. She hadn’t heard him come in and Paris was able to watch for a while before she moved around to where she could see him.

Janeway jumped, “Tom! You startled me, how long have you been there?”

“Not long.” Answered Paris truthfully. “Where is everyone?” he asked, meaning the hologram customers that usually frequented Sandrine’s.

“I deleted them they were…… distracting me,” said Janeway. “ I was looking for a quiet corner where no one would bother me for a few hours but it seems I’m not even safe here.”

“I was passing and saw the programme running. I thought you might be Tuvox practising for our game tomorrow, I’ll leave if you want me too?”

“No please stay,” Janeway spoke softly not wanting to frighten Paris away. “For some reason I’ve been playing a lousy game, perhaps you could help me?”

Paris stepped up to the table, “I doubt it captain you play a mean game of pool.”

Janeway smiled then bent over the table to take another shot. But before she could Paris moved around the pool table to her side, then leaning against her placed his right hand over the cue. “You might have better luck if you stop shaking.”

“I can’t stop shaking,” said Janeway, turning her head and coming face to face with Paris. They were so close she could have kissed him without moving.

Slowly without losing eye contact they stood to face each other. Kathryn slipped her hand on the cue down over Tom’s, then placed her other hand on his chest to hold them apart.

“You saved my life again today,” Kathryn whispered, afraid to break the spell between them.

“I told you it was my new hobby,” said Tom, keeping his voice low as well.

“Tom if you hadn’t grabbed me……..if…..if I’d returned to my command chair I would be d……..”

Before Kathryn could finish her sentence, before she could say the ‘D’ word Tom silenced her by placing a finger from his free hand gently against her lips.

“You would have seen it coming and moved.”

They were still very close together and Kathryn could feel Tom’s heart beating beneath the palm of her hand. Taking a deep breath she felt her own heart flip once then she stopped shaking.

“Tom!”

“I know.”

A cough from the doorway made Paris and Janeway jump apart like startled rabbits. The pretend cough had come from Tuvox. “I saw the program running and came to see if Mr Paris was practising for our game tomorrow.”

Paris had moved down to the far end of the table and was busy collecting balls, so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with the Vulcan. Paris didn’t trust Tuvox’s telepathic powers and he didn’t want him to read what he was thinking.

Janeway tried to compose herself as she returned her cue to the rack and said, “I was just teaching Mr Paris some trick shots.” Janeway glanced at Paris, who momentarily met her gaze,” I have to go, reports to read, I’ll see you two on the bridge in the morning.”

“Good night captain,” said Tuvox as she passed him. “Mr Paris?”

“I have to go as well,” Paris scuttled past Tuvox, “Belanna’s waiting up for me.”

After Paris had left Tuvox pondered on the event he had just witnessed for sometime then storing it in the back of his mind he left the holodeck.

---

Some weeks later

---

Speculation as to the whereabouts of captain Janeway and why she was late for a meeting ceased the moment she entered the conference room. Janeway had slept through her alarm, yet again. The third time that week but she wasn’t going to admit it to her senior officers, not after nagging them so many times to be punctual.

Forcing the sleepy muscles on her face into a smile Janeway breezed into the meeting without a word of explanation sat down and asked, “Well how are we doing?” Meaning how was the ship and crew.

“Not good, I’m afraid,” answered Chakotay, taking in the captain’s appearance. She usually took pride in presenting herself but this morning her hair looked tousled, her uniform was rumpled and her make up was sparse, revealing a pale green complexion.

“How so?” Janeway asked, pouring herself a cup of the coffee from the table.

“Twenty five of our junior crew members have come down with food poisoning,” Chakotay nodded towards the doctor who continued.

“They each presented themselves to me with, fevers, headaches, vomiting and diarrhoea. All have been treated and sent back to their quarters. They should recover in 48 hours.”

Janeway had taken a sip of the coffee while the doctor spoke but it had tested strange and made her gag. Believing it was probably another one of Neelix’s concoctions gone wrong she pushed the cup aside and asked, “Origin of this bug?” Hoping it wasn’t the ‘coffee’.

“I traced the source to a ‘stew’ Neelix had given the crewmen the night before,” elaborated the doctor, while Neelix looked down at the table sheepishly. “After checking hydroponics I tracked down the culprit in cargo bay 4, among the supplies we collected while in the Myon System.”

“Further scans of the containers revealed that over 80% of them are contaminated,” Chakotay informed Janeway.

“I have made arrangements to ‘Jettison’ the infected food as soon as you give the all clear captain.” Added Tuvox in his usual nonplus manor.

Janeway’s smile had faded when she heard that members of her crew were ill, the information on the contaminated food supplies wiped it clean off her face. Leaving only the gaunt expression of an exhausted captain, a captain who for some reason was feeling decidedly queasy. “Back on rations then everyone,” Janeway quipped, trying to sound light-hearted about the matter but the faces of her senior officers ranged from mild frowning to despair. “Any other news to report?”

“Yes captain,” said Torres, “I’ve been trying to repair our damaged shuttles since we left the Myon system, except for two shuttles and the Delta Flyer all are inoperative at this time.”

“What’s the problem with them?” Janeway asked trying to show some enthusiasm while her stomach churned over the meal she had eaten the night before.

“Mainly the want of spare parts. I’ve replicated all I can, we can’t do anymore until we get suitable raw materials to work with.”

“Looks like our priorities are clear.” Janeway swallowed hard down on the bile rising from her gut, “We need food and raw material resources. So maintain your scans and Tuvox dump those contaminated containers.” Janeway rose unsteadily to her feet. “If there is no other business.” Blank faces starred back at Janeway. “Then you are dismissed.”

Janeway moved before her crew had a chance too stand and made it to her ready room with only seconds to spare. The doctor had said the food poisoning only lasted 48 hours, she had been throwing up for at least 2 weeks. On top of that her menstrual cycle was erratic but that wasn’t uncommon in females on stars ships. Many complained of irregular periods. Janeway had lost count of the number she had missed since entering the delta quadrant.

The first time she was 3 weeks late Janeway had thought she might have been pregnant with ‘Marks’ child but a quick medical scan had come up negative. Her hopes dashed she had told herself that with a long and uncertain journey home it wouldn’t be wise for the captain to be incapacitated through pregnancy and motherhood. But now she held her stomach, counted the days and calculated when, where and how she might have. It wasn’t as if she had a string of lovers stretching back through the quadrant but she had to be sure in her head that it was possible. That she might be pregnant ‘again’ and by the same man as before.

---

It was three days before Janeway plucked up the courage to go to sickbay. Three days in which at least 10 crewmembers had commented on how ill she looked. Even Chakotay and Paris had asked if she was ok. Janeway found lying to Paris harder than Chakotay. Tuvox didn’t ask he just kept giving her all knowing stares. Seven had suggested she got more sleep but Janeway couldn’t sleep, between throwing up, worrying about the food shortages and the lack of maintenance supplies, she catnapped. It was only after falling asleep on bridge duty one night, that she forced herself to go to sickbay but not before making sure the doctor was occupied elsewhere.

She could have replicated a medical tricorder anywhere on the ship but it would have shown up on the log records. Clearing the memory of a tricorder from sickbay would be a lot quicker. Locating the medical tricorder was easy; running the scan only took seconds, believing the proof of what she already knew took a lot longer. Long enough for the EMH doctor to pop up from nowhere.

“Captain?”

Janeway whirled around almost dropping the tricorder. “Doctor where did you come from……., I mean I thought you were on holodeck 3?”

“I was,” replied the doctor, “I’ve rigged the computer in sickbay to alert me if anyone should enter while I’m other wise occupied.”

“Why wasn’t I told of this?”

“I haven’t had a chance to test it out yet,” explained the doctor indignantly. “I was going to tell you once I knew it worked.”

“Well it works,” responded Janeway.

“Good, now what is the medical emergency?”

“Nothing, there isn’t one. I was just…”

The doctor noticed the tricorder in Janeway’s hand as she tried to quickly hide it behind her back. “Just doing a little self diagnosis.”

Janeway knew she had been caught red handed and no amount of denial was going to get her out of it. There was only one choice, come clean.” I might as well tell you, your going to find out sooner or later.”

“Tell me what?”

“I’m ……Pregnant!” Janeway blurted it out as fast as she could while simultaneously thrusting the tricorder at the doctor.

Shocked the doctor took the tricorder turned it around and read the data. “Yes indeed you are, about five weeks three days nine hours to be precise. And the father would be?”

“None of your business!” Janeway snapped back.

“I could easily find out from a blood sample or I could just extrapolate where and who you were with at the moment of conception.” The doctor walked away from Janeway and placed the medical scanner on a diagnostic bed. “But that would be purely academic because I know who the father is.”

“HOW?” Janeway hadn’t been following the doctors movements but his last words made her head snap around and her eyes zoom in on the back of the doctors head.

“How? Because I know what went on in that cavern on Luna 3, that’s how. The physical and medical evidence I found when I examined you both frozen together was damning to say the least.”

“That’s why you’ve been giving Tom a hard time?” Janeway approached the doctor with menace in her voice and movement. “You know what we had to do to stay alive and you don’t approve. Tom said as much to me a few weeks ago, I’d forgotten that part of our conversation until now.”

“Have you told Mr Paris yet?”

“NO!” Janeway backed away from the doctor and tried to control her anger. “I wasn’t sure myself until now. Its not the first time that I’ve missed a period over the passed years.”

“There must have been other tell tale signs, morning sickness, tiredness, tender breasts?”

“Some.” Now the doctor knew Janeway felt a tiny bit relieved but a whole lot more scared.

“You don’t have to tell him,” said the doctor calmly. “You don’t even have to have the baby.”

“Doctor! How could you even suggest something like that to me.” Janeway rounded on the doctor her subsided anger returning.

“I’m sorry. It’s in my programming,” replied the doctor in his own defence.

“I don’t care who the father of this baby is I’m keeping it!” Janeway spoke forcefully, leaving the doctor with no doubt as to her decision on the matter.

“Fine when Chakotay finds out he’s going to kill Paris anyway.”

“No he won’t, because Chakotay won’t find out, will he doctor?”

Janeway’s threat bounced off the doctor, “I’d never betray a patients confidentiality but this is a big secret, one I’m sure Tom Paris will let slip eventually and when he does…”

“Doctor!” Janeway growled angrily.

“Captain if it’s your decision to carry on with this pregnancy than I had better check you over.” The doctor changed his tactics a little just in case Janeway became irrational from a hormone imbalance and deleted his programme.

“That would be good idea but not know I have too…..” Janeway tried to turn away from the doctor and exit sickbay but with a quick movement the doctor barred her way.

“What ever it is can wait, you’ve got more important responsibilities now. This baby has to come first if it’s going to have any chance.”

Janeway mulled the doctor’s words over in her head. “Your right, I am going to have to rearrange my priorities.” He was right and she knew it but hated having to admit it. “So where do you want me?”

“Main diagnostic bed……and captain, even if I don’t approve, may I be the first to say congratulations?”

“You may thank you.”

---

That evening Janeway checked the duty roster, made sure the coast was clear, then covertly approached Paris quarters. Fortunately for the nervous captain, Paris opened the door after one chime.

“Captain?” Paris was in his dressing gown and looked like he had just stepped out of the sonic shower.

“Tom I …….. We need to talk.” Janeway stumbled over her words.

“You had better come in then,” said Paris, stepping back to allow Janeway to enter.

“Thank you. Did I wake you?”

“No, I was just getting ready for bed.” Paris was confused as to Janeway’s presence at his quarters, especially since their promise to keep a distance. “You look tired, take a seat.”

“I am tired,” said Janeway, perching tentatively on the edge of Paris room lounger.

“Couldn’t this have waited until the morning?” Resisting the temptation to sit next to Janeway, Paris took an easy chair across from her.

“Maybe.” Janeway sighed, and let her shoulders slump. “There’s no easy way for me to say this, so I’ll just come out with it…..Tom I’m pregnant!”

“Oh Boy!” Paris lowered his head into his hands then pushed them up over his face and head until they rested on the back of his neck then exhaled sharply. He’d expected a telling off for what had happened on the holodeck not this; not a ‘baby’ Paris looked up again and met Janeway’s jaded eyes. “And you’re telling me this because I’m the father?”

“You’re the only one I’ve ever been with!” Janeway responded indignantly, not certain as to what she would do if he denied paternity.

“I’m sorry Kathryn.” Paris lowered his hands, wanting to reach out to her but unsure as to how she would take it. “I didn’t mean to suggest anything else, its just…….when……how pregnant are you?”

“Nearly six weeks.”

“That means……….’

“That means I conceived in the Luna 3 cavern when we made love to keep warm.”

“I don’t know how many times I can say this but ‘I’m so sorry.’”

“I’m not!” Kathryn saw her words startle Tom. “I’m keeping this baby and there’s nothing you can say that will change my mind.”

Tom crossed the room and sat next to Kathryn carefully so he didn’t touch her. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you to abort this baby, not when life out here is so precious.”

“I’m so glad Tom,” Kathryn reached out and squeezed his hand affectionately, “I was afraid you would be…”

“Be what? Angry?”

“Yes.”

“Hey come on you know me better than that,” Tom stroked Kathryn’s cheek tenderly then moved his hand around the back of her head drawing her closer to him. Kathryn didn’t resist and as Tom brushed his lips gently against hers she felt sparks of pleasure run through her body and out of her toes and fingertips.

“Oh god,” said Tom, pulling away. “Chakotays going to kill me.”

“Only if Belanna leaves anything to kill.” Janeway smiled, she’d meant it as a joke but Tom appeared terrified.

“I’m dead!” Tom jumped to his feet and started pacing the room then just as suddenly he stopped and returned to Kathryn’s side. “Whoa! Never mind about me, what about you. You had a bad fall three weeks ago and you’ve been looking off colour too for a while. You should get the doctor to check you out, both of you.” Tom rested his hand over Kathryn’s stomach.

“Don’t worry he already has.” Kathryn patted Tom’s hand. “I’m fine, the baby’s fine, a little anaemic that’s all.” Kathryn’s face dropped, “Tom the doctor knows.”

“Knows what?”

“He knows you’re the father.”

Tom screwed up his eyes. “Dam I knew it”

“Don’t worry he’s under oath not to tell.”

“Are you going to tell?”

“That’s what we need to talk about.”

“Are you sure I was thinking more along the lines of picking out names. How about Owen if it’s a boy?”

“Be serious Tom,” Kathryn chided. “I’m not sure if telling everyone you’re the father would be a good idea. We have to think of Belanna and Chakotay. Then there’s how the rest of the crew would react.”

“Could we keep a secret this big?” Tom asked, looking to Kathryn for guidance.

“Its going to get bigger then this Tom,” responded Kathryn, leaning closer to him for warmth in a room that had suddenly become cold. “Could you hide your true feelings, keep quiet when everyone is asking questions and pointing fingers. Could you settle for being the uncle instead of the dad?”

“I don’t know but if Belanna found out she would be devastated, I don’t want our love to hurt her.”

“I understand Tom, Chakotay would go ballistic but he would eventually get over it.” Kathryn realised at that point, that she was being very selfish in keeping the baby, selfish because Tom had so much more to loose and she had so much to gain. “I don’t want my baby to grow up never knowing its father but I don’t want to destroy the happiness you have with Belanna.”

“Then it’s decided, I’ll remain anonymous,” Tom moved his free arm around Kathryn’s back, the other one was still resting on her stomach. “This little one may never call me daddy but I’ll be the next best thing and neither of you will want for anything.”

“I’m scared Tom, for the first time since we entered the Delta Quadrant I’m scared for the future.”

“Pregnancy does that to you, ask Sam,” Tom smiled but deep down he was full of apprehension and he knew the future was going to get very messy.

“I need you Tom,” Kathryn snuggled even closer to the warmth of Tom’s body and the safety of his arms.

“Just call my name, I’ll be there,” Tom returned his lips to Kathryns but this time firmer.

Kathryn pressed hers back, they had vowed never to do this again and had beaten temptation several times but the pregnancy made her feel vulnerable and she found she didn’t want to push Tom away. In fact she wanted to hold onto him, let him touch her, let him make love to her.

---

Tom Paris felt the wanting in Kathryn Janeways hands as they travelled with a will of there own under his dressing gown and up his torso until they found the hard buds of his nipples and stopped. Tom still held one hand over Kathryn’s stomach but as their tongues entwined he slowly dropped it to her knees. Parting them he inserted his cool hand then allowed it to travel upwards to the hot apex of her legs, where one touch through the cloth of her uniform sent shivers of pleasure through Kathryns body.

“Oh Tom I want you,” rasped Kathryn, braking her lips free from his.

“We wouldn’t hurt the baby would we?”

“No, he’s quite safe.”

“He?”

“Or she, I don’t know yet.”

“You will tell me if you find out?”

“I promise you’ll be the first to know everything. Now make love to me.”

Tom stood and taking Kathryns hand guided her towards the bedroom area. Removing items of her clothing with each step Kathryn was soon down to her satin none regulation underwear, allowing Tom to see the firmness of her breasts pushing against the flimsy material. Softly he ran his fingers along the curves, feeling the goosebumps rise as she shivered again and her nipples threatened to tear the cloth.

Dragging Kathryn’s head to his Tom kissed her parted lips letting his tongue play against hers. His desire increased, Tom sensually ran his tongue down Kathryn’s smooth neck, along the velvet of her bare shoulders then down her breasts kissing each one in turn. The satin becoming transparent from the moisture of his tongue as he teased Kathryns hardened nipples into peaks.

Unable to bear his attention any longer Kathryn raised Tom’s head and crushed her lips greedily to his. At some point during the kiss Kathryn pushed Tom’s dressing gown from his shoulders, dropping it to the floor to reveal his nakedness beneath. Almost instantly Kathryn felt Toms aroused taut rod press against her stomach.

“Computer,” she commanded as he nuzzled her neck. “Initiate security lock personnel quarters, Thomas Eugene Paris, code Janeway delta 911.” The computer beeped in response.

Tom returned his mouth to Kathryns and bit her lower lip tenderly. “I didn’t know you could do that?”

“Security procedure incase of an insurrection,” answered Kathryn her arms entwined around Tom’s neck.

Tom had lowered his own to lift and press her against his throbbing penis in anticipation of the moment he would thrust it deep inside her warmth.

“And what do you do with erections?” Tom asked a smile on his face and a glint in his eye.

“Oh I handle them personally.” Kathryn shoved Tom forcefully down on to the bed, where he lay on display, his chest heaving as he watched Kathryn remove her under garments seductively, in a mini strip tease just for him.

Finally stripped Kathryn edged closer to the bed, seizing his opportunity Tom reached one arm out and hooked it behind Kathryns buttocks, pulling her down onto the bed and into his arms. Her body fit perfectly against his as if this was always meant to be.

Kathryn untangled herself from Tom’s limbs and lifted her leg up to straddle his hips. But she didn’t take Tom inside her, instead she raised herself high above his throbbing shaft, holding herself there as he ran his hands up her thighs, across her flat stomach then upwards again to caress her breasts. He could feel the heat between her legs and trembled as the pressure built up within his groin.

“Kathryn!” Tom gasped, as she began her decent down onto him then caught his breath again as the sensations rippling through his body threatened to overwhelm him.

When Kathryn stopped half way down his shaft the pleasure became almost torture and Tom nearly shot his load. Smiling wickedly Kathryn leant forward and let the sensitive points of her breasts graze his chest as she kissed him passionately. Suddenly she pulled away and sat bolt upright, then with one swift move dropped down hard, slamming the full length of Tom up inside her. Caught up in the rapture Kathryn threw back her head and squeezed her legs tight around Tom’s thighs.

Gently Kathryn began to move and Tom matched her rhythm, letting her dictate the pace, carefully reining back his own need for release for her pleasure. As she rose and fell he worshipped her beasts with his hands, rubbing her hard rosy nipples between his thumb and fingers.

Sometime later, somewhere between exhaustion and ecstasy Kathryn climaxed, calling out Tom’s name as he thrust up deeper into her. Tom felt Kathryns muscles flex along his penis and almost came with her but he wasn’t ready to let her get away just yet. Grasping Kathryns hips firmly Tom rolled her over until he was on top and without pausing, power drilled his steaming rod into her hot dripping mound. In this position Tom didn’t last long and soon juddered to a halt as he unloaded his seed deep inside Kathryn.

The rapture of his own climax engulfed Tom and he called out with passion, “Kay I love you.” Thoughts of the seed already growing inside Kathryn gripped his heart and sent butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “What have we done?”

Kathryn reached up and pulled Tom down into her arms. “Nothing we didn’t both want to do,” she said a single tear slipping down her cheek.

An hour later half-asleep Tom felt Kathryn slide out of his bed, heard her dress, release the security lock on the door and then leave. Four hours later Belanna let herself into Tom’s quarters undressed quietly then slipped under the bedcovers with him. Feeling her warm hands caressing his member, Paris awoke and turned into Belanna’s arms. (Things were not going to be easy.)

---

“Attention please this is your captain.” Janeway was alone in her ready room speaking over a ship wide channel. All around Voyager heads bobbed up and eyes focused on the airwaves. “I am aware of the whispers going around this ship as to my health. I would like to take this opportunity to belay those whispers.” Ears everywhere were glued to Janeways voice. “I am not ill,” she continued, “I am with child.” If the communication had been two-way Janeway would have heard the gasps of astonishment emitted from each of her crew.

Down in astrometrics Seven had been giving a lesson to Icheb and young Naomi when the announcement interrupted them.

“Seven what does, ‘with child’ mean?” asked Icheb puzzled.

“It means the captain is pregnant,” explained Seven.

“But the captain doesn’t have a boyfriend,” chipped in Naomi. “So who would the father be?”

“That my dear,” replied Seven, “is the ultimate question.”

“I’m sure you are all asking the question right now as to who the father of my baby is. At this time I cannot tell you his name. We have discussed the subject and it’s our joint decision that his identity remains anonymous.

Murmurs set about the crew, heads turned, questions were asked and accusations thrown, even among the bridge crew words were passed. The only one to remain silent was Paris. No one noticed his lack of interest except Tuvox and he put Paris indifferent reaction down to prier knowledge due to his part time occupation as the doctor’s nurse.

“Right now I’m sure the whispers have grown loader rather than quieter. May I remind you that I am your ‘captain’ and would expect a certain decorum in this matter.” As Janeway spoke Chakotay entered her ready room, the expression on his face one of consternation. “Captain Janeway out.” Cutting the communication she leapt to her feet and met her commander halfway across the room. “That’s all I’m prepared to say on the subject Chakotay.”

“Am I allowed to at least get 2 pence worth in?”

“You may as you say have your 2 pence worth, so long as you don’t ask who the father is.”

“Ok. How about why you are keeping him a secret?”

“For his safety.”

“His safety! Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“You have 1 penny left use it wisely.”

“Fine,” Chakotay knew when he was beat. “Are you and the baby well?”

“We are both A1 ok, the doctor has given me a through check up.”

“Then I’d like to be the first to congratulate you,” Chakotay smiled and extended his arms for a hug.

Janeway accepted his gesture and the hug. “You’re the third actually but whose counting.”

“Anonymous or not the father had better take care of you.”

“Don’t worry it’s his new hobby.”

“Ah so he is a member of this crew?”

“Chakotay!” Janeway wagged a warning finger at the grinning Indian, knowing he was going to be the hardest to deceive.

---

“What’s the word Tom?”

To the general population of Voyager captain Janeway and ensign Paris meeting at the view port on deck 12, was nothing but chance and their conversation nothing but the usual ship talk.

“The word?” Paris repeated, looking around him. No one crossing the nearby intersection paid them any attention but Paris kept his voice low all the same.

“You know what I mean.” Janeway pretended to be interested in the stars. “Who are the suspects?”

“I’ve heard whispers,” reported Paris, joining Janeway to gaze at the passing cosmos. “No one with two gold pips is above suspicion”

Janeways eyes flashed to the reflection of Paris collar on the window and his single pip. “That should let you off the hook then.” The words came out wrong but it was too late to take them back.

“I’m not so sure I want to be let off the hook,” said Paris turning at the sound of voices.

Two crewmen discussing a maintenance problem passed them with only a courtesy nod and a ‘good evening captain’ before moving on.

“Are you changing your mind?” Janeway asked Paris, her voice hushed. “Do you want to go public?”

“No!” Paris said ‘no’ rather too fast and he caught the hurt look on Janeways face as he turned back to her. “No,” he repeated more softly. “The status-quo still stands.” Paris reached out and took Janeways hand squeezed it affectionately then let it go before someone saw. “Even if I was considered as a contender, my relationship with Belanna would knock me out of the running before the contest would even start.”

“Contest? And what’s the star prize I wonder? Midnight feeds and the fathers day picnic.”

Janeway smiled as she spoke but Paris heart flipped. His own father had never been available for any of his school picnics. When he was young Paris mother had taken him. She had not been the only one there, many of the other boys had absent fathers for one reason or another and he didn’t mind. But as Paris grew up he became more aware of how important it was for his father to be there and opted out of the events rather than go with his mother. With this memory fresh in his mind, Paris promised right then and there on deck 12 in front of a billion stars that he would always be around for his child no matter what.

---

At first her crew were quiet, reticent to say anything out of turn, but soon Voyagers corridors buzzed with the speculation. Everyone had his or her own idea as to who the father of Janeways baby was and his or her own assumption as to why he was hiding his identity. Neelix Voyagers chief and morale officer found the gossip tantalising and disturbing at the same time. Some of the things he heard were not very nice and he was certain the captain wouldn’t approve of the wagging tongues. He had been asked his own thoughts on the topic so many times that when Paris came into the messhall and took his food without saying a word, Neelix was immediately suspicious.

“I guess you’re taking bets on who the father is?” Neelix said to him sourly.

Before Paris could answer Neelix, Belanna sidled up beside him. “If you’re running a book, my rations are on Chakotay.”

“We’ll I’m not.” Paris replied, trying not to sound angry.

“Not! Why not!” Belanna demanded picking up a plate of the food Neelix had put out.

“Because I don’t fancy my guts being ripped out with a malfunctioning laser scalpel.” Paris left Belanna and Neelix to exchange questioning looks and moved over to a table where Harry Kim was sitting.

“This is crazy.” Kim babbled as Paris sat down. “Everyone’s taking about it.”

“I know said Belanna, taking a seat next to Paris. “I wonder if she knows the sex yet?”

“Who cares,” said Kim sarcastically. “The real speculation is on the identity of the father.”

“There’s no speculation about it,” snipped Belanna. “It has to be Chakotays.”

“I wouldn’t put my rations on him if I was you,” said Neelix, wiping down the table next to the trio.

“Oh! What makes you say that?” Paris asked nervously, his food untouched.

“Quote.” Neelix put on a Chakotay voice. “When I find out who’s responsible for this, I’ll space him.”

“Oh that’s priceless,” giggled Belanna. “I just got a flash image of Chakotay lining up suspects outside main air lock four, while he interrogates them.”

Harry and Neelix laughed but Tom didn’t. “And who would those suspects be?”

“I have no idea,” replied Belanna between giggles and forks full of food.

“My money is on Tuvox,” offered Harry, raising his glass.

“Your forgetting Tuvox is a Vulcan,” reminded Paris, while poking at something on his plate. “They only mate once every seven years,”

“This could be his seventh year,” Harry suggested.

“Maybe, but the captain and Tuvox?” Belanna pulled a face. She couldn’t imagine the stony Vulcan and the emotional captain getting it together.

“He would do anything for the captain and visa versa,” elaborated Harry.

“What do you think Tom?” Belanna asked, noting his plate of untouched food.

“I don’t think we should continue this conversation.” Tom responded taking in the change of expressions his words had on his friend’s faces.

“Why not?” asked Belanna. “You’re usually the first to comment on ships gossip?”

Tom pushed his plate away; he’d lost his appetite anyway. “This isn’t gossip, this is our captain, we should show her a little more respect.” Tom stood and raised his voice to address the others in the mess hall. “If I hear of anyone running a book on who the father of our captains baby is I’ll report them to Chakotay pass the message on and don’t say you weren’t warned.” Tom lowered his voice again and looked down at Belanna, “I’ll see you later.”

Everyone watched Paris leave; not a word was uttered until the mess hall door shushed shut behind him.

“Well I wonder what brought that on?” asked Neelix.

“Tom has always been close to the captain,” offered Harry. “He’s probably just worried about her health.”

“Neelix nodded in agreement but Belanna wasn’t convinced, “I’m not so sure, I think he knows something.”

---

“I heard about your little speech in the mess hall today.” It was late and Janeway had retired for the night only to find Tom Paris waiting in her quarters.

“I’m not handling this very well am I?” Tom pointed out, pulling Kathryn into his arms.

“It’s only been a week the scandal is still fresh, give it a month and things will ease off.” Kathryn placed a kiss on Tom’s lips.

“I’m not so sure, this is a small ship and it’s not as if there’s anything else to talk about at the moment.” Tom eased the zip down on Kathryn’s uniform as he spoke.

“Something will happen before long it always does.” The lump pressing against Kathryn’s stomach twitched and Tom dragged her into another kiss.

Tom’s passion was fierce and his tongue probed deep into Kathryn’s mouth making her forget all about telling him off for breaking into her room again, or reminding him to be careful of what he said in the future. Kathryn also forgot about her ship and its weighty responsibilities for a moment as Tom’s strong arms lifted her off the floor and carried her to the bedroom. Where he made love to her until she fell asleep then he slipped away out of her room and down Voyagers darkened passageways. But he didn’t go unseen.

---

Janeway was right but it took two months not one before everyone came to accept her pregnancy and for things to settle down.

“We’ve got a ripple in space approximately one light year dead ahead captain.” Paris broke the news to a sleepy bridge crew, sending them into a fluster of activity.

“I’m not picking up anything on sensors,” announced Tuvox, with a disbelieving tone in his voice. He was good at tones especially sarcasm.

“Perhaps not but my optical sensors see a ripple.”

“I see it too Tom,” confirmed Janeway, leaning forward in her seat to get a better look at the ripple that was distorting the view screens starry backdrop. It was a very large ripple.

“Standard hail Mr Kim, let them know we are friendly.”

“Aye captain.”

“They could be who ever attacked the other ship,” offered Chakotay.

“I know,” Janeway spoke slowly. In the next five seconds she would have to make the decision to stay, fight or run.

“Do you wish for me to stop or slow down captain?” Paris asked. Disturbing and pre-empting her thoughts. Some days he was so in tune with her he could plot her moves three steps ahead.

“No Tom I don’t want to be dead in the water if we have to make a run for it. Keep going but vector us around them.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I am still receiving no sensor readings on the ripple captain,” Tuvox called.

Janeway acknowledged him with a brief raise of her hand.

“A radius scan shows the distortion to be approximately 1 mile in diameter,” Harry Kim informed his captain, pleased that he had something to tell where Tuvox didn’t. “It’s much bigger than the other ship we encountered.”

“She’s moving,” Paris called. “Matching our speed and direction.”

“In coming hail captain!” Kim almost lost his cool and shouted out the information rather than just announcing it calmly. Sometimes he wished he had a little of Tuvox’s self control, particularly in tense bridge situations. “It’s voice only.”

“On speaker Mr Kim,” Janeway ordered, over looking Harry’s enthusiasm.

“Greetings captain Janeway of the star ship Voyager, you are a long way from home.” The voice came across as friendly but also well informed. “We are a nomadic tribe of explorers. Our name translate in your language as the ‘no where people’ and my given name is ‘Arkon’. I am speaking to you today on behalf of my people in the spirit of peace and seeking information.”

Out in space the ripple began to solidify and a ship majestically disguised as a city appeared on Voyagers view screen. Gasps echoed around the bridge as Janeway and Chakotay both rose in unison to stand in awe of it. Arkon’s ‘nowhere’ ship aptly named considering that’s from where it came, was ovoid in shape and silver white in colour. The top had spires, towers and domes jutting out of it, each with multiple view ports blinking out in to space. She moved with a surprising grace and her force field radiated an angelic like glow.

As Janeway watched the ship she felt her stomach flip flop but put it down to hunger. The hour on Voyager was late and she hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

“I see no obvious signs of propulsion and yet she moves most swiftly,” said Tuvox evidently impressed.

“They are asking for a response to their message captain,” said Kim, never taking his eyes of the view screen.

“Of course Mr Kim, open me a channel.” While waiting on Harry, Janeway made a quick adjustment to her hair and smoothed her uniform down. But as she ran a hand over the baby bump she now sported, Janeway felt a movement against her palm. Quashing the tingle of excitement at feeling her baby’s first kick, and the urge to call out to Tom Paris, Janeway addressed the alien ship. ‘Mr Arkon, I return your greeting………..(There it kicked again)………and ask what is this information you seek?”

The ship vanished and was immediately replaced by the image of a man, or at least a good approximation of a man. He looked to be about 60 earth years old with long white hair and pale blue skin, his eyes seemed to be too small for his face and his ears too big. He was wearing a long dark blue robe and sitting behind a desk so Janeway couldn’t see his feet or legs but his hands were long with six digits each including two opposing thumbs.

“Captain Janeway thank you,” the voice identified the alien before her as ‘Arkon. “The data we seek is on the where about of our sister ship.”

Janeway gave Chakotay a quick glance to see if he was up to speed. “We did come across a ship similar to yours several of our months ago. Unfortunately before we could extend any aid she exploded.”

“We thought as much,” Arkon said soberly. “The Trilinium residue on your ships hull is quite high.”

(Trilinium) Janeway wanted to ask but held her tongue, business later. “Before the ship blew we were able to establish that her life pods had been jettisoned.”

“Life pods!” Arkon’s face brightened and he gestured to someone of screen.

“Yes,” continued Janeway. “But we were unable to locate them within the vicinity of the ship after the explosion.”

“That’s ok captain, if they were cloaked you would not be able to find them, but we can.” Arkon’s smile broadened and he had to hush down an eager voice of to his side again. “If you could give me the exact co-ordinates of the ship when you first found it we can pick up the rescue from there.”

“I would gladly do that but what assurance do I have that your not the ones who attacked this ship and caused its demise?” Janeway suddenly realised that she could be handing over the ship's survivors to their enemies.

“If we were the ones who had attacked the ship why would we now be looking for it?” Arkon spoke softly and with tiredness to his voice.

Janeway stood firm still unconvinced; “They might have escaped before you were finished with them.”

Arkon gave an alien sigh, letting his shoulders slump and his eyes drop. “Captain, we could easily trace your warp trail back to the wreckage. It would take time, especially if you didn’t travel in a straight line. We could then try to extrapolate from which direction the ship was coming from before it exploded. Again taking time, time which injured survivors in those life pods might not have.” Arkon was becoming agitated his hands clenched and unclenched as he spoke. “We are not just talking about soldiers, there were women and children on that ship.”

Chakotay touched Janeways shoulder lightly. “I believe he’s telling the truth.”

“Our fastest scout ships are waiting ready for the co-ordinates so they can take up the search.” Arkon said almost begging.

Janeway looked around her crew’s faces, they too seemed to believe Arkon. Paris turned in his seat and gazed up at her waiting for an order, his eyes full of trust in her abilities as a captain. “Tom rely the relevant data.”

“Aye captain.”

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” apologised Janeway taking a step closer to the view screen. Which turned out not to be a good idea because the movement made her head spin and her legs turn rubbery. “Circumstances over the past 3 years have made us…….cautious.”

“We have heard tales of your ships exploits far and wide,” responded Arkon as an acceptance of Janeways apology.

“We wondered how you knew of our predicament,” Chakotay commented, from his place one step behind Janeway.

Detecting the launch of 10 small crafts from the ‘No where’ ship, Tuvox took it upon himself to alter the bridge view screen, allowing them to watch as space rippled around the squadron of ships, then in a blink of an eye vanished.

“Wow!” Paris exclaimed for everyone.

Chakotay signalled for Tuvox to return the image of Arkon. “Your scout ships are indeed fast.”

“Please do not ask for our technology,” Arkon begged, “We would not give it too you if we could, you are not ready.”

“I understand completely,” responded Janeway, rubbing at the migraine forming in her right temple. “We have had one or two failures in trying to travel faster than our limitations and are in no hurry to repeat them.” Janeway paused and took a deep breath in an effort to make the room stop spinning. “But we are in need of raw materials to repair our shuttles.” Bile rose up in Janeways throat as her stomach lurched again.

“Our ship is large so is our population, our own maintenance consumes most of our supplies. I’m not sure if we could …… spare…”

Arkon didn’t finish his sentence, the sight of Captain Janeway collapsing, unconscious into the arms of her commander, who deftly caught her before she hit the deck, took the words right out of his mouth.

“Kathryn?” Chakotay called out, as he knelt on the floor with her in his arms.

Torn from his station by his heart stopping concern for her, Paris reached out to Janeway but before he could touch her Chakotay ordered an emergency beam out to sickbay. For a second as Paris watched Janeway and Chakotay dissolve and disappear, he considered following them but Arkon’s voice drew him back to his bridge duties.

“What's going on? Is your captain ill? Does she have a plague?” Arkon babbled on franticly. “Our immune systems are very weak we could not trade if your ship and people are infected.”

“No its nothing like that,” said Paris, turning on his heals to face Arkon. “Captain Janeway isn’t ill she is ……… She is with child.”

“She is blessed!” Arkon’s face beamed with joy. “You should have told us this sooner, we will provide you with what we can, a blessed one can not be denied any wish.”

---

Tom Paris waited until it was late to visit Janeway. It had been a long day with an exhausting ending but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he had seen Kathryn. The sickbay doors opened with an audible swoosh to allow Paris to enter but no sooner had he stepped over the thresh hold and the doors swooshed shut behind him than the EMH appeared.

“What do you want Mr Paris?” The doctor asked in a low gruff voice.

Sickbay was in darkness except for the main diagnostic bay area, which had been curtained off to allow the occupant some privacy.

“I’ve come to see the captain, how is she?” Paris kept his own voice low.

“It’s late! She’s resting!” The doctor blocked Paris path so he couldn’t advance into the room any further.

“I just wanted to know how she is. Chakotay wouldn’t go into any details.”

“You don’t need to know the details!”

“Come of it doc! I know, you know, I’m the father.”

“Yes I do! And if I had my way I’d tell Chakotay then assist him in flushing you out the nearest air lock.”

“AND I WOULD PERMANENTLY DELETE YOUR PROGRAM!” The voice came from behind the curtain. It was Janeway. She had been woken by the two of them sparing and wasn’t amused by it all.

Side stepping the doctor Paris made his way to Janeway. “Kathryn?” He found her sitting up on the bed and didn’t hesitate to take her in his aching arms and embrace her passionately.

“I’m ok Tom,” said Kathryn breaking free from his hungry kiss. “I just fainted, my blood sugar was low from not eating properly.”

“In that case I’m going to put Neelix in charge of making sure you eat regularly in future.” Tom new Neelix would do the job gladly and diligently, and so did Kathryn.

The thought of Neelix crashing onto the bridge in the middle of an emergency to remind her to eat was enough to bring a faint smile to her lips.

“I could supply him with some nutritional meal plans if you would like,” volunteered the doctor, hovering in the background.

“Thank you doctor,” responded Janeway politely. “Perhaps you could go and do that now.”

It was a dismissal and the doctor knew it but didn’t like it. “Yes ma’am,” he replied faking a smile then shuffling into his office.

Tom pulled the curtains around the medical bay so the doctor couldn’t see them then kissed Kathryn again. Longer and more deeply this time, letting his hands roam over her body. Kathryn’s medical gown wasn’t sexy but it was loose, allowing Tom’s hands to easily slip beneath and caress her breasts. They felt larger and firmer due to their development ready to feed the baby and Tom liked the new feel to them.

“Not here Tom,” Kathryn prised his hands from under her gown.

“I’m sorry it must be the pregnancy pheromones, I can’t keep my hands off you.”

“Try harder,” Kathryn gave Tom a stern look but he just smiled in response. She was finding it harder to discipline him, one of the pitfalls when a captain becomes involved with a lower ranking officer. And one of the main reasons it’s frowned upon in any military organisation. “I heard we got our supplies,” Kathryn changed the subject to a more business footing.

“Some of them, yes,” Tom corrected, thinking about the containers Belanna was drooling over in cargo bay four. “It seems only one in fifty of the ‘no where’ females are able to conceive, so they are considered sacred and it’s against their laws to refuse them anything.”

“Sounds like a good law to me, I could murder a hot fudge sundae,”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Tom suggested. “And talking of drinks, you need to cut down on your coffee consumption. It’s not good for the baby.”

“That’s ok I think I’m off coffee for the duration anyway, one whiff of a cup this morning sent my stomach churning.”

“Good,” said Tom leaning forward to kiss Kathryn on the tip of her nose.

“Speaking of churning, I’m not sure but I think I felt junior kick for the first time this evening.” Kathryn rubbed her tummy bump affectionately.

“So soon! ….I mean that’s wonderful,” Tom placed his hand along side Kathryn’s on her bump. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I couldn’t say anything, I was deep in conversation with Arkon then I passed out.”

“Have you told anyone else?” Tom asked nodding towards the doctor’s office.

“No, I said I’d tell you first about anything, remember.”

Tom Paris beamed with joy and love. “The little tyke seems quiet now.”

“Don’t worry juniors going to be doing a lot more than a few kicks before it’s born.”

“I know, a password. Next time you feel junior jumping you can say a password then I’ll know what’s happening.”

“Good idea, but what?”

“How about coffee, I’m the only one who knows you’re sworn off the stuff.”

“Ok, you’re on.”

“By the way have you picked a birth partner yet?” Tom asked not that he had any intention of being anywhere but at the birth and at her side.

“I have yes,” answered Kathryn, “Seven.”

“Seven! And she agreed?”

“Yes. She said she would be honoured.”

“This is going to be one hell of a delivery.”

---

“Have you heard?” the first whispered pulling her friend into the corridors shadows.

“What?” responded the second glancing to and fro for eavesdroppers.

“The real reason why Captain Janeway can’t tell us the name of her baby’s father.” Excitement crept into the first’s voice.

“Can’t! I thought it was won’t.” The second was bemused but the first soon put her straight.

“No! Listen, the story is that she was drugged and then raped, so she doesn’t know.”

The second looked shocked. “But who on Voyager would do something like that?”

The first smiled gleefully. “I know it makes you wonder doesn’t it?”

“Maybe it was one of the ‘Myons’?” suggested the second. “The captain did go off ship alone to a party. She could have got drunk and done it with one of them?”

“If that’s the case we’ll find out when it’s born won’t we.” The first moved on.

“I’m not so sure I can wait that long,” called out the second, running to catch up with her friend.

After they were gone and the corridor echoed no more words, a shadow shifted then blinked. Janeway slowly stepped from the door recess her eyes glossy with tears. She looked down the corridor to where her two-crew members had gone then turned away and headed in the opposite direction.

---

Chakotay entered the holodeck to find himself in the middle of a cornfield. The sun was waning and the corn rippled with the evening breeze. Following the path that led across the field Chakotay soon found the figure he was looking for.

Captain Janeway was sitting with her back to Chakotay in the middle of a small flattened area of corn watching the sun set and so didn’t notice his presence until he moved to sit down beside her.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Chakotay spoke softly. He could see she had been crying. “According to the ships logs you’ve been in here 3 hours.”

Janeway could see Chakotay in her peripheral vision but she didn’t turn to acknowledge his presence. She had been wondering for the last half-hour who would come looking for her, Tom, Seven, Neelix, Chakotay or perhaps they would all gang up and send in the doctor. Secretly she was glad it was Chakotay. They hadn’t spoken alone together since she’d announced her pregnancy.

“Earlier I overheard a most disturbing conversation.”

“Oh, disturbing how?” Asked Chakotay probing for details.

“It would seem the rumours haven’t stopped only gone underground. And the latest is that I don’t know the identity of my baby’s father because I was raped while I was drunk, or was that drugged?”

“I’m sorry Kathryn. Would you like me to discipline the culprits?”

“That wouldn’t stop the gossip.” The sun had almost gone and the stars were coming into focus high above them. “I thought I was prepared for this, but I’m not.”

“What of the father? How is he handling the talk?”

“About as well as I am.” With the sun gone Janeway was able to see the night sky in all its glory.

“Perhaps its time to review this secret identity business?” Chakotay posed the question with two motives in mind. First he wanted to ease the strain on Janeway and secondly, but most of all he wanted to know who the father was.

Janeway replied to Chakotays question with a slow shake of her head.

“Is the reason you are so adamant because you were raped?”

Janeways response caught Chakotay of guard, jumping to her feet, she turned on him fury in her eyes. “NO!” The father of this baby didn’t lay a finger on me without my permission, nor did he seduce me with drink and drugs. This baby was made with love and its out of love that I keep its fathers identity a secret.”

Chakotay rose to his own feet. “Then what has he got to hide?”

“He’s not hiding anything, he’s in hiding! From you and the others who would like to shove him out of an air lock for deigning to touch me. I’m not a goddess; I’m a woman with needs and desires.”

“You once told me you couldn’t allow yourself the luxury of a relationship.”

“That was when I had hopes of getting us home sooner, rather than later. That was before I got my ‘dear John’ letter and realised I was all alone out here.”

“Your not alone, you have me.” Chakotay took Janeway’s arms and leaned into kiss her but Janeway backed away and pulled free from his grip.

“Its too late.”

Chakotay crumpled at her words, he’d thought time was the only thing they did have. “Are you and he still together?”

“No!” Janeway lied. It was none of his business if she was and if the truth ever came out she was dammed anyway, what would one more lie matter.

Chakotay knew in his heart he had lost and turned his back on Janeway. “Arkon is preparing to depart, he’s given us the co-ordinates for a planet he says is rich in food stocks. Shall I lay in a course?”

“By all means.” Janeway didn’t think her heart could sink any lower but giving an order to Chakotays back took it clean from the pit of her stomach to her boots. “I’ll join you on the bridge shortly.”

Janeway watched Chakotay leave, a small part of her wanted to call him back and take him in her arms, but she knew that would just add more complications to an already complicated scenario. Instead she held her feet steady and voice silent until she knew he would be in the turbo lift and gone, then she exited the holodeck.

---

Voyager had to travel a week in the wrong direction to Arkon’s planet but it was worth it. The small green planet was lush with edible vegetation and uninhabited except for some small six legged furry creatures that resembled earth cats.

“What do you think?” asked Chakotay. “Shall we take her down?”

Janeway was standing beside Paris at Voyagers con, watching the planet spin slowly on its axis. From space it looked innocent Enough. “Why not? It would save us time and energy in collecting the supply’s we need.” Janeway rested a hand on Paris shoulder and he turned to look up at her, his blue eyes full of love. “Pick me a nice spot Tom,” she ordered before returning to her command chair.

“Yes ma’am,” responded Paris enthusiastically. “Going to blue alert, decent course plotted, atmospheric controls on stand bye, landing mechanisms active, inertial dampers at maximum. Hold onto your hats folks we are going down.”

Tom Paris had been practising landing Voyager single handed on the holodeck and was becoming a bit of an expert. As the blue lights began flashing around the bridge Paris stole a glance back to see if his captain was safely seated. Janeway noticed and gave him a quick smile but someone else observed there their exchange and filed the information orderly in a corner of his mind before returning to his duties.

“Nice and easy does it Mr Paris, junior doesn’t like the bumpy rides these days.” Janeway patted her tummy for emphasis.

Paris chuckled to himself, junior was becoming quiet a little kicker and seemed to be able to sense the fluctuations in Voyagers speed, kicking out more at those times. Practice made perfect though and Paris landed Voyager gently and almost effortlessly at the bottom of a valley between a forest and a river.

“Welcome to planet ‘Bounty’, the oxygen is rich the natives none existent, the wildlife cute and the temperature a balmy 60 degrees. What we lack in entertainment we make up for with our choice in cuisine.”

“Thank you Tom for that lovely introduction but we are here to work so let’s get down to it.” Janeway made to rise from her seat but Chakotay reached across and motioned her back down.

“I’ll co-ordinate the work parties, you will stay here and put your feet up.”

“The doctor has had me resting for the last week! This is a new planet I’m going to explore and your not going to stop me.”

“Ok but if I so much as see you pick a berry off a bush, I’ll have the doctor confine you to your quarters.”

“Deal.” Janeway agreed, secretly she had her own agenda and once off Voyager she was going to have some fun.

Planet ‘Bounty’ as everyone had taken to calling it was quickly divided up and Voyagers crew organised to venture forth and collect food supplies. Neelix estimated that it would take 4 days to gather enough food to replace the contaminated provisions they were forced to ‘space’. Tuvox contradicted him with a 5-day estimate, taking into account the need to check each storage container for contaminates. Chakotay then up the anti to 7 days to allow time for the crew to take some R and R. This was met with some contention from Tuvox but he was unanimously over ruled.

Six days later everyone was still hard at work, except for Janeway, who had spent her time casually strolling along the river bank, bathing in the rock pools, picnicking under the shade of the fruit trees, painting the breath taking scenery and hunting for the alien cats. Who seemed to be extremely allusive. Naomi Wildman had spotted one the first day, excitedly exclaiming that it was green with brown stripes and did indeed have six legs but since then they had made themselves scarce.

Giving up the hunt for the day Janeway wondered over to the orchard east of Voyagers landing site, where a number of her crew were hard at work. Parts of the planet looked like they had been at some point in the past cultivated, but Chakotay and Tuvox could find no signs of building or roads except dirt tracks to suggest that the planet had been colonised. Even if it had been purely used for farming there would have been some signs of barns or out buildings, yet nothing showed up on scans and the two officers scratched there heads daily in puzzlement.

From his vantage point half way up a ladder, hidden among fruit tree’s foliage, Tom Paris watched as Janeway inspected the fruit baskets Tuvox was carefully weighing.

“How are we doing Tuvox?” Janeway asked, pilfering a blue apple from the basket and changing the Vulcan’s calculated weight so he had to do it again.

“We are on target, gathering will be completed by 16.00 hours tomorrow,” answered Tuvox, resisting an emotional sigh at having to redo the calculation.

“Marvellous! Just in time for the evening party Neelix has got planed.”

“Yes indeed,” said Tuvox, raising his eyebrows.

“I take it you don’t approve as usual?”

“On the contrary captain, the crew have worked hard, time to relax before we depart would be logical.”

“But?”

“There is no ‘but’ captain.”

“Now that’s a first you usually have at least one objection to the crew letting its hair down.” Janeway tossed the blue apple in the air then watched helplessly as a hand snatched it mid flight. “Hey that’s mine!” Janeway called out to the hands owner.

“Not anymore its not,” replied Paris biting into the apple and devouring a chunk. “Mr Paris you are not scheduled to finish working for another fifteen minuets and thirty seven seconds. Please return to your duty.” Tuvox ordered.

“Gee talk about a slave driver,” whispered Paris winking at Janeway, who hid her giggle behind one hand while the other sneaked a second apple out of Tuvox’s basket.

Tuvox noticing the weight change exhaled slowly and deeply. “Captain I must implore you to set an example or this slack behaviour will delay our finish schedule.”

“Lighten up Tuvox,” said Janeway, returning her apple then making a grab for the one Paris held but he was too quick for her and backed off holding the apple up high where she couldn’t reach. Janeway wasn’t going to give in easily though and tiptoeing lunged for the fruit.

Tuvox observed silently as Janeway missed lost her footing and fell into Paris arms. Catching Kathryn and holding her close, Tom placed the apple against her lips. Kathryn tasted the sweet juices dripping from the bite Tom had taken and savouring the moment slowly sank her teeth into the flesh then ripped a piece free. Tom wanted to kiss Kathryn then and there in front of Tuvox, in front of the other crew but he wasn’t brave enough. Janeway felt Tuvox’s eyes boring into the back of her head and pushed herself free of Paris arms. “Back to work Ensign Paris,” she said plucking the apple from his hand and taking another bite.

“Yes ma’am,” replied Paris with a grin then nodding to Tuvox made his escape.

“Is there a problem Tuvox?” Janeway asked, turning around to face the brooding Vulcan.

“Yes,” said Tuvox, closing the gap between the two of them then speaking in a quiet voice, “I do not think it is proper for you to cavort around with junior officers, especially in your condition.”

Janeways face dropped and she leaned closer to the lieutenant before speaking. “So long as I don’t break any Starfleet regulations I will do what I want, when I want. If you have any problems with that put them in writing and submit them to Starfleet Headquarters through the proper channels.”

“Aye Sir,” said Tuvox standing to attention.

Janeway took a step back then raising her voice to a normal level spoke. “That will be all lieutenant, carry on.”

Duly dismissed Tuvox returned to his apple baskets but mentally added amendments to his ‘Paris/Janeway’ folder. Before the day was over he would also need to consult with commander Chakotay.

By midday on the seventh day the temperature on Bounty had risen to 85 degrees and the breeze had dropped, making work very hard going but Voyagers crew soldiered on. They all knew how important the food supplies were and kept the doctor run off his feet for the best part of the day tending to there sunburned extremities and heat strokes.

“Mr Paris?” the doctor called out, striding across the meadow in full uniform. Except for Tuvox everyone else had stripped down to his or her shirts making him look a tad out of place. “Would you take this to the captain please?” he asked holding out a large floppy sun hat. “If she won’t come in from the sun, she can at least compromise.”

“Why send me?” Paris asked, sipping water from a cooler flask. “You could just as easily take it yourself.”

Janeway was approximately 2 kilometres down river collecting flower cuttings and ignoring Chakotays work warning.

“I’m sending you because I believe you would have more luck in persuading her to wear it than I would.”

“Is that so,” said Paris plucking the hat from the doctors out stretched hand.

“Sun stroke will not do the captain or her baby any good!”

“That’s a low blow doctor,” responded Paris, “especially as I was going to take it to her anyway.”

“Thank you,” said the doctor begrudgingly then stalked off.

Captain Janeway placed the cutting she had carefully extracted in a hydroponics growth stimulator tube then placed the tube in her bag. Satisfied with a job well done she sat back on her heels and gazed across the river to the field beyond. It was carpeted with wild flowers blossoming into a rainbow of colours under the suns heat. Unfortunately Janeways contemplation of the vista was brought short by the vigorous kicking of her restless unborn infant and subsequent spinal twinges.

Rubbing her back forceful yet to no effect, Janeway rose to her feet and reluctantly turned to follow the river back to Voyager. Which is what she would have done, had not a movement caught in the corner of her eye, halted her steps. Swivelling her head slowly Janeway got a glimpse of a furry green six-legged creature as it slinked into the undergrowth. It was one of the cats. Ignoring the pain now shooting up her spine and the baby dancing a merry jig on her bladder, Janeway changed direction and followed it.

Ensign Paris reached the spot where captain Janeway had been working just in time to see her disappear into the head high wild grass. Under doctor’s orders to deliver the hat he held, Paris proceeded after her.

The cat lead Janeway into a clearing approximately 20 feet wide, but it wasn’t completely empty the floor space was covered by a flower like plant, with huge leaves that folded out across the ground. Janeway remembered seeing something like it in a botanical garden back on earth. However her attention was on the ‘cat’ and she paid little head to the tiny movements the flower made.

Picking its way carefully around the plants edge the ‘cat’ reached the far side then sat down and commenced to wash it’s self. Following the animals path Janeway tip-toed around the flower’s rim then placing her bag on the floor stretched out her arm and called softly to the creature in a vain hope that it would allow her to pet it. Instead the cat hissed and struck out at Janeway, racking its sharp claws across the back of her hand and drawing blood. Janeway yelped and drew back as the cat scurried away into the grass.

“Captain?” Paris called stepping into the open on the far side of the clearing.

Janeway stood and turned around to face Paris but kept her hand hidden from view. “Don’t tell me, the doctor sent you to round me up?”

“Not exactly. Although the doctor did send me, but it was to give you this.” Paris held up the hat and Janeway grimaced at the sight of it. “I heard you cry out, are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Janeway lied as she stepped forward onto the edge of the plants out stretched leaves.

“It is hot,” said Paris turning the hat over in his hands. “I think you should wear this.”

“You know some days your worse than the doctor.” Janeway took two steps across the plant as she spoke, conscious of the stinging from her injury but not of the plants movement beneath her feet.

“That’s not fair,” responded Paris, looking hurt. He like wise was paying no attention to the outwardly harmless flower beneath Janeways feet. After all he only had eyes for her.

Janeway was still making her way slowly towards Paris thus reaching the centre of the clearing and the plant as she spoke. “I’m sorry T…”

It took only seconds for the drop of blood from Janeways hand to splash onto the plant beneath her feet but less than a second for the plant to react. Almost instantaneously its six-foot leaves rose into the air and entwined themselves around Janeway, enveloping her completely. “Kathryn!” Tom cried out, ignoring any danger to himself and making a grab for her. But he was too late and only succeeded in trapping his right arm from the elbow down inside the folds of the leaves.

Kathryn screamed, then screamed again as barbs on the leaves started to rip into her clothes then her flesh. She’d managed to raise her hands up to her face for protection but the razor sharp thorns just sliced into her fingers instead. As the pain became intense Kathryn managed one more scream then lost consciousness.

Tom Paris heard Kathryn’s screams and ignoring his own agony wrenched his arm free, shredding it on the leaves spikes as he did. The horrific sight of his hand hanging useless with lumps of flesh peeling away rocked Tom for a moment but the thought of what was probably happening to Kathryn and the baby spurred him into action.

Drawing his phaser and thumbing the setting to the second level Tom aimed it at the plant's roots and fired. The plant shuddered but held fast, forcing Tom to raise the phaser’s settings to ‘kill’ before firing again. This time the plant changed colour from green to black and the leaves folded back down, limp and dead. Tom prayed he hadn’t killed Kathryn as well and jumped into the plant's centre just in time to catch her unconscious body. She was cut to ribbons and what was left of her clothes were blood soaked.

“Kathryn?” Tom wept; he was on his knees her lifeless body slumped against him. Trembling he pressed his combadge, smearing Kathryn's warm blood over the cold metal. “Emergency transport…two too sickbay.”

Chakotay watched Paris and Janeway dematerialise in front of him as he entered the clearing, but not before he got a good look at the bloody form of his captain.

---

As soon as Paris and Janeway materialised in sickbay the EMH doctor appeared at their side.

“What the hell happened?” He demanded scooping Janeway’s body from the floor and placing her gently on the diagnostic bed.

Paris stumbled to his feet. “A flower tried to eat her.”

The doctor looked at Paris as if he had gone mad. “Stop talking nonsense and pass me that cortical monitor.” Paris went to fetch the monitor while the doctor ran a tricorder over the length of Janeway and activated the beds surgical arms.

“Is …..she alive?” Paris asked, terrified of the wrong answer.

“Only just!” The doctor replied, snatching the monitor from Paris’s bloody hand and searching for a piece of skin to attach it to.

“And the b…..baby?” Paris stuttered, wobbling on his feet so much he had to grab the diagnostic bed so he didn’t fall down.

“She’s lost a lot of blood,” the doctor answered noncommittally.

“I can dam well see that!” Paris yelled with some effort, his head was feeling strange and his vision was going fuzzy. “Doctor, please! Is the baby ok?”

“I’m sorry Tom.” The EMH shook his head, pausing for a second before returning to his treatment of Janeway.

“Sorry! What the hell does that mean?”

“There is no foetal heartbeat on the scanner, I fear the captain’s baby has died.”

“NO!” Screamed Paris. “Your wrong! Check again.”

“Kathryn lost a vast amount of blood in a short space of time, the foetus was starved of oxygen, consequently its heart stopped and it died. There is nothing I can do.”

Paris grabbed the EMH as he passed him. “I don’t believe you, you’re just saying that because you don’t want her to have my baby.”

The doctor extracted himself from Paris grip just as Chakotay and Seven entered sickbay. “Mr Paris your injured let Seven treat you. I have to operate on the captain now or we will loose her as well.”

Paris staggered backwards into Seven. “Our baby’s not dead!” He yelled. “Don’t listen to him Kathryn, he’s lying.”

Chakotay pulled Paris around to face him. “Your baby! You’re the father?” He said flabbergasted.

“Go to hell Chakotay!” Paris spat back and then took a swing at him. He missed and falling forwards with the momentum landed on his hands and knees. “It’s my fault. I should have got her out faster, I was too slow, I’m…….. sorry……K…….” Paris passed out.

Chakotay stood back, disbelief written all over his face, leaving Seven to pick up Paris and effortlessly carry him to a medical bed.

“I would not have guessed Mr Paris to be the father of captain Janeways baby,” commented Seven, while inspecting the damage to Paris arm.

“Tuvox tried to tell me as much last night but I just laughed at him.” Chakotay shrugged his shoulders then shuffled two steps closer to where Janeway lay. He wanted to help, to do something, but he knew all to well to stay out of the doctor’s way.

“It’s all irrelevant now anyway,” said the EMH. “The captain has lost her baby.”

“There was nothing you could do?” Chakotay asked the doctor, still trying to assimilate everything.

The doctor shook his head. “Like I told Paris, the captain lost a lot of blood, both she and the baby suffered, I couldn’t save both of them at the same time. I’m sorry, I had to make a choice.”

“That could not have been easy for you,” said Seven, unsure how to react. “Will the captain be…. Ok?”

“I can not say for certain at this time,” answered the doctor truthfully. “Although her wounds are mostly superficial, the amount of blood she has lost is very serious. Not only am I concerned about the captains brain function but her liver, kidneys, pancreas and spleen have all been effected.”

“Mr Paris arm is in a similar condition to the captain. It would appear he tried some kind of rescue attempt.” Seven held up Paris arm carefully and Chakotay moved over to take a closer look. “I will treat him,” Seven concluded, dropping the arm and picking up a tricorder.

“Thank you Seven,” said the EMH, glancing up briefly from his administrations. “And commander, I must ask you to keep anything you may have learnt whilst in my sickbay confidential.”

Chakotay didn’t respond he had his back to the doctor and was still trying to come to terms with his feelings on what was going down. Kathryn had lost her baby, Paris had been the father, her life was hanging in the balance and to top it all he had 135 crew roaming a planet with carnivorous plants. If things could get worse he didn’t know how.

“Commander?” the EMH called.

Yes he did. Chakotay turned around to the doctor but didn’t speak, he didn’t even look at he doctor. His eyes were drawn and transfixed to Kathryn's shredded body and the puddle of blood forming on the floor where it dripped off the ends of her fingers.

“Am I understood?” the doctor demanded.

“Yes sir!” said Chakotay, tearing his eyes from Kathryn and storming out of sickbay.

---

“Is it true?” Belanna demanded marching into Voyagers sickbay.

“That I’m………was the father? YES!” Paris answered honestly, there was no point in denying it.

Contrary to the doctor’s orders Chakotay, had told at least one other person, Lieutenant Belanna Torres. Tom Paris college, friend and part-time lover, had been waiting eight hours, straining at the bit to get into sickbay and confront him.

“How long Tom?” Belanna asked a little calmer.

“It wasn’t like that!” Paris defended.

“Then how was it? Tell me.” Belanna was starting to turn a subtle shade of red, her internal Klingon rage seeping out.

“It only happened once,” Paris lied just as Kathryn had told him to in the event of anyone finding out. “And that was when we were trapped in the ice cave on Luna 3. Kathryn…Captain Janeway was going into hypothermia shock. I had to do something to keep her going until help arrived. I knew I was dying from the toxins in my system and didn’t have much time, so I did the only thing could do.”

“You made love to her!” Belanna almost spat the words out.

“It worked didn’t it. The captain was alive when you got to us.”

“It worked too well.” Said Belanna bitterly, glancing over to the screened off main diagnostic bay area where Captain Janeway lay recovering slowly from her wounds and the subsequent miscarriage of her baby. She had yet to wake up and be told the bad news.

Paris eyes followed Belanna’s. “Contraception wasn’t exactly in the forefront of our minds!” He sarcastically retorted. Paris heart was in turmoil, between losing his baby, nearly losing Kathryn and now possibly losing Belanna’s love for him, the one thing he wanted to protect all along, he was a broken man.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Belanna asked trying to understand way Paris had betrayed her. “Because I promised Kathryn I would keep it a secret.” It didn’t feel strange calling his captain by her first name. Over the past months he had become comfortable with the using it around her and he hoped when everything had settled down she would let him keep using it, at least in private.

“Why didn’t you just come clean once you found out about the baby?” Belanna wasn’t ready to let it settle yet; she wanted to know more. “Wouldn’t she let you, was that it?”

“No!” Paris shook his head, remembering the night Kathryn had come to his room to tell him she was with child, remembering how she had made love to him slowly and with passion. “We didn’t want to hurt anyone, it was all an accident that got out of control.” Belanna turned from Paris and began pacing the floor her fist clenched tight. “What were you planning on doing after the baby was born? Didn’t you think a blond haired, blue eyed; replica of you would have aroused suspicion? How long were you going to keep the deception going?”

“I don’t know Belanna, I’m not sure we could have for much longer. Tuvox was beginning to suspect something and as for Chakotay….”

“Chakotay is ready to keel-haul you. As soon as the doctor gives the word he’s throwing you in the brig.”

“Chakotay can do what ever he wants to me, so long as I’m here when Kathryn wakes up.”

“Chakotay isn’t going to let you anywhere near the captain ever again.”

“That baby was mine! I have every right to be by her side when the doctor tells her… she…” The pressure of the tears welling up inside Paris robbed him of his speech as they burst forth. Pulling up his knees and burying his head in his folded arms, Paris lost all control of his emotions.

Belanna staggered by Paris tears, stepped back away from his bed. She had never seen him like this before, he’d been angry, scared, jealous, embarrassed even sad but never had she seen him weep and Belanna didn’t know what to do or how to react. “I’m sorry,” she whispered reaching out to touch Paris hand. The new skin was warmer than normal and his fingers twitched at her touch, causing her to draw away again. Hearing the doctor moving behind her, Belanna mumbled her apology once more then fled sickbay.

Voyagers EMH, renowned for his deplorable bedside manner, approached Tom Paris with compassion in his eyes and placing an arm around the shoulders of his distressed patient, whispered words of comfort. “It’s ok Tom, I won’t let them take you anywhere until we have spoken to Kathryn.”

---

By nightfall the death of captain Janeway’s baby had reached the ears of everyone from Voyager. Neelix upon hearing the news wept, and immediately cancelled his party arrangements. Tuvox issued warnings about the ‘vampire’ plants then recalled his supply gathers. It was sometime during the crew’s return that Chakotay went missing, Tuvox tracked him down six hours later, blasting the hell out of any carnivorous plants he could find.

The doctor and Seven worked tirelessly for eight hours to piece Janeway back together. When they had done she looked as Seven had put it ‘remarkable’ but the doctor knew most of the work was cosmetic and the captain would need more operations and extensive skin grafts before she would be ‘ok’ again. The doctor also had to come to terms with his decision to save Janeway at the expense of her baby. A decision human doctors would have agonised over, had come all too easy for him and privately he wondered had the baby’s father been someone else, some one other than Tom Paris, would he have made a different choice. Some years later going over his records of the event and the autopsy scans he had of the captain’s baby, Voyagers EMH finally lade his ghost’s to rest and admitted to himself that he could not have saved the tiny premature life even if he had tried.

Chakotay never threw Paris in the brig, neither was any record of Toms attempt to strike him in sickbay ever made. Consequently Paris was as the doctor promised, by Janeways side when she eventually woke two days later and learned of her baby’s fate.

“It was a girl Kathryn,” Paris said, swallowing back tears. “We had a baby girl.”

Kathryn cast her gaze in the doctor’s direction. “I have her in a stasis chamber.” He said answering the unasked question in her eyes.

“Where are we?” Kathryn asked.

“Still on the planet, Chakotay refused to leave until you came round.” Replied the doctor.

“I want to bury her here,” said Kathryn, “and I want to name her ‘Phoebe’ after my sister. Tom?” Kathryn’s eyes twinkled with teardrops as she turned to him.

Tom didn’t speak. He knew if he did that he would start crying again, so he just nodded his head.

“I wish to see my baby now.” Kathryn said wiping one hand across her tear filled eyes.

The doctor took Tom over to the stasis chamber where ‘Phoebe’ lay wrapped in pink swaddling. She was perfectly formed but so small she fitted in the palm of Tom’s hand and when he handed her over to Kathryn it trembled.

Kathryn drew the baby into her arms and Tom down onto the bed allowing him to hold her as together they broke down and cried.

The doctor retreated to his office and gave the order for the computer to end his program, giving his friends time to be alone with their grief.

---

As the sun began to set over the mountains of ‘Bounty’ the silhouetted figures gathered around the tiny grave scattered until only two remained. Tom and Kathryn stood side by side gazing down at the small pink marble headstone that read, ‘Phoebe Janeway Paris, sleep little one, sleep.” Either side of the stone was a newly planted yellow rose bush in full bloom.

Janeway knelt down beside the grave and plucked a single rose bud. “On earth yellow roses are given symbolise an apology.” Janeway patted the soil over Phoebe’s grave. “I’m sorry Phoebe, sorry you’ll never get to know the wonders of life.”

“We have to go,” Tom Paris whispered.

“I know,” Janeway whispered back, “but I don’t want to leave her.”

“We have too,” said Paris, knowing in his heart that it was killing him to say the words.

“Tom you can’t come to my quarters anymore.” Janeway was still kneeling at the grave with her back to Paris; she wasn’t brave enough to tell him face to face that their love had to end here at their daughter’s burial site.

“Aye captain.” Paris replied his voice firm and clinical as he metaphorically buried their love along side little Phoebe with the words.

Captain Janeway wiped the tears from her eyes, climbed to her feet and stood to attention. With the rose clutched tightly in her hand she tapped her combadge. “Two to beam up.”

Voyager was already in orbit waiting for them. As Kathryn Janeway dissolved into the transporter beam, she glanced across the river to the field of flowers, there colours glorious in the last light of the day. But what Janeway didn’t see was the hundred blue eyes hidden staring back.

“You told me to kill one of them,” spoke one of the hidden. “How was I to know it was with child?”

“It worked didn’t it,” another voice added. ”They have gone.”

“Yes, but others will come.”

The eyes blinked in the moonlight then disappeared into the night.

---

Tom Paris never visited Janeways quarters again; neither did she come to his. In time he rekindled his relationship with Belanna Torres, much to the agreement of Janeway. Thoughts of one day starting a family with the enchanting Klingon help to heal the emotional scars but a little corner of his heart would always belong to Kathryn and little Phoebe.

Janeway cried herself to sleep for three months then one night she stopped. Kathryn knew at the start that she would have to make sacrifices to get her ship and crew home, but she had never envisaged one quite so personnel and tragic. She also knew that her feelings would have to come second place if she was to Captain Voyager across the delta quadrant. There would be time to mourn for little Phoebe once her crew was safe.

The End