Feeling the heat of the flames nipping at her heels Janeway ran for her life. Two feet in front of her Paris leapt over a fallen tree trunk then glanced back to see where she was. It was at that moment her foot slipped and with a sharp stab of pain that radiated up her leg Janeway went down.
"Captain?" Paris stopped and turned in the same motion.
"I think it's broken." Janeway gasped through the pain of trying to stand.
"Damn!" Paris looked up at the advancing wall of fire, then with his eyes stinging from the heat and his lungs fighting for oxygen he scooped Janeway up into his arms and ran.
He knew he couldn't go as fast carrying her, defiantly not as fast as the approaching inferno but he only needed to stay ahead of it for another 75 seconds. Just long enough for Belanna to set up the transporter boost. They needed somewhere to shelter, a river, a cave "There!" Paris saw an animal den to there left, where the ground fell away but would it be big enough? It had to be.
Paris pushed Janeway into the rough earthen dugout then rolled in after her. It was only six, maybe seven feet deep and just wide enough for them curled up. Biting her lip against the pain in her ankle Janeway tucked herself into the end of the tunnel allowing more room for Paris behind her.
"Belanna, its now or never!" Paris yelled into his combadge but there was no response and he silently prayed to the delta quadrant gods as he covered Janeway's body with his own.
Paris pray was answered yet as he felt the first tingle of the transporter, he heard the distinctive roar of the fire overwhelm there hiding place and foolishly looked back at the entrance. The flames rushed towards Paris catching hold of the skin on his face and searing the flesh off his back.
The screams as he materialised echoed around the transporter room, startling Belanna and nearly deafening Janeway before Paris slipped unconscious and fell silent. Twisting her body beneath him Janeway cradled his limp head in her lap, taking care not to touch the burnt flesh that still smouldered, filling the air with a sickly sent.
"Oh god!" Belanna gasped from the transporter control station, chastising herself for not being faster.
"Sickbay now!" Janeway ordered unable to draw her eyes from Paris, his right eyelids were fused together and the cloth of his uniform was melted into his flesh.
Deftly working the controls Belanna watched as Janeway and Paris disappeared but the stench of cooked flesh still hung in the air and assaulted her sensitive Klingon nostrils.
Janeway felt the softness of a diagnostic bed beneath her and immediately tried to sit up but the doctors grip on her shoulders held her down.
"Tom!" She found herself screeching and pushed against the doctors hold.
"I have him, he's going to be ok." The EMH said in a reassuring voice.
Janeway not relying on the doctors word and twisted her head until she could see Paris. He was lying on his stomach with his head turned to face her. The surgical arms covered most of his body but she could still make out the terrible burns that blackened the right side of his face.
"Can you ……how bad is he?" She wanted to ask."Can you make him handsome again?" but stopped herself.
The doctor sensing Janeway relax, released his grip on her."He has partial thickness burns to his back, right arm and the right side of his face. He will need extensive reconstructive surgery and major skin grafts but it's nothing I can't handle."
The doctor moved towards Paris as he spoke giving Janeway the opportunity she needed to slip off the bio bed and cross to her injured officer's side. Her attention was so focused that she didn't even realise her ankle no longer throbbed with pain.
But she did notice that Paris flesh no longer smouldered and that the doctor had used the medical transporter to remove the melted cloth from his blistered skin.
"How long?" Janeway asked, as the doctor came to stand beside her.
"I've already got Kes growing new skin grafts but it will be three days before I'll be ready to even wake Mr Paris, five before he can leave sickbay and another five on top of that before I'll release him for duty."
Janeway managed a little smile."I meant how long have we been here in sickbay?"
The doctor patted Janeway's hand where it now rested on the bed beside Paris."A good two hours, you were unconscious from the pain in your broken ankle by the time the transporter deposited you here. You've missed the first flood of well wishers and voyeurs but they will be back so I'd suggest you get some rest while you can."
Janeway had other plans, pulling up a chair she sat defiantly at Paris bedside and began gently stroking the back of his head where the sandy hair hadn't been singed away.
The doctor was about to argue until he observed something strange. The moment Janeway touched Paris his heart rate slowed and his breathing became less laboured. Shrugging it away as a coincidence, he moved to busy himself with something else but not before casting a voice over his shoulder."One hour Captain, then I will sedate you if you don't rest."
Janeway smiled again as the EMH disappeared into his office. He was the only one of her crew that knew how deeply she felt for the man lying injured beside her. A man that had once again risked his own life and safety for hers.
Ten days later Janeway was crouched behind a defence wall, firing volley after volley across a rocky barren landscape. Her face was smeared with dust, sweat and blood and her body showed signs of injury, though none life threatening. Movement to her right caught Janeway's eye and she saw Paris crawling towards her.
"I hate to tell you the obvious but we are pinned down and out numbered." Paris appearance mirrored Janeway's only his left uniform sleeve was missing, having long since used it to stem the blood flow from a wound to his leg.
"Chakotays on his way back with reinforcements." Janeway yelled over the sound of phaser fire. "We just need to hold out for another hour."
Paris deferred from commenting and added his own phaser fire to the mix, recalling as he did a movie they had watched two nights ago entitled ‘The Alamo' He wasn't exactly Davy Crockett or Jim Bowie, but he felt just as helpless as they had.
Suddenly a shot came from behind them, flashing against the metal defence grill just above Janeway's head. Who ever it was hadn't got his range yet but Paris knew the next shot would be on target if he didn't………"Captain!" He yelled, shoving her hard.
As Janeway rolled out of harms way she saw the shot that had been meant for her strike Paris in the chest."NOoo!" She screamed but it was a scream of frustration not horror or shock. Throwing her weapon aside she called out"Freeze programme."
Everything around her stopped, the figure advancing upon them the phaser shots zipping overhead even the sounds of battle, everything ceased. Kneeling beside his fallen body Janeway looked down at Paris, his chest was covered in blood and his eyes stared blankly up at her.
"Damn you Tom!" Janeway said punching him hard on the shoulder.
Paris immediately came back to life."Ouch! That hurt." he moaned and rubbed the bruise she'd left."What was that for?"
"Getting yourself killed."
"I saved you didn't I." Paris pleaded in his own defence.
"I've played this scenario with six different officers now and each has either been killed or injured trying to save my life."
"Well what's wrong with that?"
Janeway face twisted with anger as she barked"End programme!" Almost instantaneously, the dust and blood disappeared from her face and the injuries vanished from her body leaving an unblemished figure behind. Likewise did Paris appearance change all except the pain in his shoulder; somehow, he could still feel that.
Janeway rubbed the furrows forming along her brow, she also kneaded away the tears threatening to betray her. "I'm tired of loosing my officers."
Paris was still lying on the floor, however upon hearing her words he suddenly realised what this little scenario had been all about and he rose to sit close beside her. A month ago, Lieutenant John Reynolds had been killed after stepping in front of a phaser blast meant for Janeway. She'd taken it badly but Paris suspected no one not even Chakotay knew just how badly.
He watched as she lowered her hand away from her face and saw the light glisten off her tear soaked eyes.
"I've done a check of the records out of the eleven crew killed since we began our journey home, seven lost there lives defending or trying to rescue me!"
"It's our job to protect you." It was the only thing he could think of to say but he immediately wished he hadn't.
"I am fully aware of that Mr Paris." Janeway angrily spat back."I just wish you would consider your own mortality while your leaping into the line of fire."
Now it was her turn to wish she could retract her words, Paris shivered and flinched as she said ‘fire'. She was aware the tough cocky pilot was still having nightmares about his ordeal by fire, she was also aware that he would be the first of her officers to walk thorough it for her, let alone get himself killed in her place.
Sighing deeply Janeway reached over to him and slowly ran the back of her hand down his right cheek. The move caught Paris off guard, they were only inch's apart and the coolness of her hand on his warm cheek sent a sensual shiver down his spine.
"The skins still soft and new, like a ………." Swiftly retracting her hand Janeway turned away and made to stand.
Paris was too quick for her though and not wanting her to leave yet, especially not if she was upset, gripped her arm and forced her back down.
"Wait!"
Under normal circumstance and with an ordinary captain such a move would have got him thrown in the brig but Janeway didn't even object. Her only reaction was to cover her eyes again so Paris couldn't see how hard she was trying not to cry.
In his years as a scoundrel and ladies man, he had counselled many a crying beautiful women yet the one before him created a dilemma that tugged at his heart in ways he could never imagine. Drawing closer Paris snaked an unchallenged arm around Janeway's waist then tucking the other behind her head brought it down to gently rest against his shoulder.
"I promise." He whispered."Too be more careful in the future."
"Oh Tom." Kathryn sobbed turning her face into his shirt to hide the tears.
What happened next repeatedly flashed though Kathryn's mind but failed to stop her. Slipping her arm around the nape of Paris neck she lifted her tear stained face to his and sort out his mouth with hers. It had meant to be a brief kiss from one friend to another but once she had touched his lips she was lost. Feeling them respond favourably she found herself increasing the pressure, pushing Paris to deepen the unison.
Sensing her desire he acted accordingly and began probing her mouth with his tongue, entwining it with the hot flesh he encountered. All the while, his hands caressed Kathryn's neck, back, thigh, squeezing, teasing and it felt good, she felt good. He pictured himself making love to her right there on the empty holodeck and his thoughts excited him, stirred emotions that in turn awakened his flesh.
Janeway must have read his mind for she abruptly broke contact rose to her feet and without looking back fled, Paris watched too stunned to move as the holodeck doors closed behind her. He sat there for some time trying to make sense of what had just occurred between them but his heart thumbed too widely to concentrate and his mind was still lost in his thoughts of passion. He even considered going to find her but a timely call from the doctor reminding him of a prearranged appointment dispelled the idea or at least postponed it.
"Well doc what's the verdict?
Paris sat up on the diagnostic bed and reached for his shirt. The doctor had final say on weather he was fit for duty again and as much as he loved his free time Paris was dieing to get his hands on Voyagers controls again.
"Your A1, fit for duty." Voyagers EMH smiled watching as Paris pulled his shirt back on."12 days 6 hours from start to finish of treatment and not a scar or blemish insight. Nice work if I may so myself."
"Back to my handsome self again." Paris chuckled then smoothed down his hair.
"Just as the captain ordered." The Doctor said cheerfully.
"Eh?" Paris turned to the doctor confusion etched on his face.
Realising he'd said too much he tried a bluff."Although not in so many words." There that wasn't far from the truth.
"It wasn't her fault." Paris began to wonder if Janeway blamed herself for what had happened to him because he'd had to go back and carry her."Does she blame herself for this?"
The EMH moved away from the diagnostic controls and came to stand beside Paris who was still sitting on the bed."Blame doesn't come into it with Captain Janeway. She feels responsible for every member of this crew and anything that happens to them."
"A responsibility she takes very personally." Paris commented back.
"Too personally." The doctor added and raised his eyebrows Vulcan like before turning away.
A name popped into Paris head, a name he suspected was behind the captain's behaviour. "Lieutenant John Reynolds?"
"His death has caused the captain some grief." The doctor looked back at Paris."But I was referring to you!"
"ME?" Had he somehow seen them, spoken to her, guessed! What did he mean?
"She barely left your side for the three days you were unconscious." The doctor kept his distance from Paris as he spoke."She watched every move and aspect of your treatment, she even advised me on how to style your hair line."
"The captain was concerned that's all. I'm a valued member of this crew and she's a good friend of my fathers." He knew he was making excuses but they sounded far better than what he knew they were both thinking."You know we've had a special relationship since we were mutated last year."
"Open your eyes Mr Paris, she's ‘infatuated' with you."
Paris jumped of the bed and squared himself up with the doctor."That is a lie and if you repeat it to anyone else I'll personally…."
"What!" The doctor raised himself to his full positronic height."First of all you can't do anything to me and secondly I would never betray the captain's confidence."
"You just did to me." Paris spun on his heals and headed for the door."And there are several things I could do to you so don't get too comfortable in those shoes of yours."
Voyagers EMH was about to defend himself but Paris had already left, leaving him standing alone in sickbay with a worried expression creeping across his face as he looked down at his feet.
"Who's there?" Janeway tied the belt of her dressing gown as she walked towards the door to her quarters but she didn't instruct it to open or turn on the light. She suspected who the caller was and hoped to be able to avoid what was to come.
"Paris, we need to talk" Outside, Tom paced the two foot width of her doorway. It had taken several failed attempts to come to her quarters and much hesitation over weather to activate the door chime then he'd half heartedly preyed she would be asleep and not hear it.
"It's late can't this wait?" Janeway's heart thumbed louder as she remembered how she had succumbed to his tender lips that very afternoon."It mustn't happen again." She whispered to herself.
Could it wait, this was his chance to run, No! he had to do this and he had to do it now."No it can't!"
"Open." Janeway called then put some distance between her and the door."Make it brief I'm tired." She said coldly.
Paris entered stepping firmly over the threshold so that the door shut with a swoosh behind him. The only light in the room came from the stars passing outside and a single shaft creeping out of the sleeping area."Ok. I will." He said, moving further into the room and trying to meet her eyes in the darkness."Are you in love with me?"
Janeway was shocked, but not surprised by Paris bluntness."If this is about our kiss." She said indicating with a raised hand that he should come no closer."That wasn't meant to happen I was….. upset and I shouldn't have put you in that position, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." She saw a pained expression cross Paris face as she finished talking and cast her eyes downwards lest he could see and read hers.
Anger welled up inside Paris, anger at how cold she was behaving towards him. He'd expected this, but not the nauseating pain that tore through his chest."Maybe love is too strong a word, but you do have feeling for me, feelings that threaten to rip you apart when you think I'm in danger, feelings you're afraid to show in case someone gets the wrong idea, feelings that…..."
"Tom don't." Turning away from him Janeway fought back her tears."Please just go." This was what she'd been afraid off having to spurn him, send him away.
"No!" Paris leapt across the distance between them and grasping Janeway's upper arms forced her around to face him."Is this about rank?"
Fixing her hands to his chest to keep them apart she gasped at the strength and yet gentleness in his action. Nevertheless, Janeway responded with an anger of her own."Your Starfleet Tom, you know the rules, even if you're not willing to follow them."
"And you'd stick to the book even if it broke your heart and destroyed your sole doing so." He had an urge to shake her but knew it wasn't in him to hurt her.
"I'm the captain." Janeway's voice cracked as she spoke."I'm your captain." Loosing the fight a single tear rolled down her face and sparkled in the light from a passing star.
"Dam it Kathryn I love you." Some how Tom managed to close the gap between them and circle his arms around her.
Trapped in his warm embrace Kathryn tilted her face upwards and whispered."And I love you, but it wouldn't work." Reaching up and cradling his face with her hands, she once again felt the softness of his new skin. It reminded her of how close she had been to loosing him and a familiar ache pierced her heart."You need someone who can be there when you call out in the dark, someone who can hold you through the long nights, and someone who can love you unconditionally and no matter how much either of us wants it to be, that's not me."
"I wish…"
Swiftly but gently Kathryn placed a hand over Tom's mouth and silenced him."My mother had a saying, ‘if wishes were horses, beggars would ride'. Hope Tom! hope that one day soon we will get back home and be able to follow our hearts once again. Until then…." Moving her hand behind Paris head she drew him down until there lips met.
Drinking hungrily from her flesh, Tom relished in the kiss, for he subconsciously knew it was to be his last. When she tried to pull away, he whimpered and drew her back. An all too fleeting time later, though she managed to drag there mouths apart and further still there bodies.
"Good night Tom." Kathryn said hugging her suddenly cold body. Bereft he did not answer, leaving her free to enter the bedroom area of her quarters alone.
For one tangible moment in time, he considered following her.
